A Former Beau
by RomanticSoul693
Summary: Before the venom was ever injected into Edward's bloodstream in the 1900s, he was in love with a girl who was NOT Bella Swan. When he became a vampire, he had to leave her and their love was forgotten. Now she is back!
1. Surprise

I walk to Biology frowning. The Cullens are all on a long weekend hunting trip, and I feel alone without Alice there to talk my head off and Edward to give me that crooked smile he knows I love. I know they'll only be gone for three days, but seventy-two hours of no interaction with a single Cullen seems like decades to me.

I stop at my locker to switch from my trigonometry book to biology. I then continue on to class. On the way, I meet up with Mike who wants to know if I could help his mom out by working at her sporting goods store next Saturday. I had worked there, back before Edward had left me. I tell Mike that I would. He grins, thanks me, and then we continue on to class.

When we walk into Mr. Banner's room, I see that the table Edward and I usually share is already half occupied by none other than Edward, himself. What is he doing here? He is supposed to be hunting mountain lions in Olympia, not sitting in Biology class staring at me like he's supposed to be there.

I walk to our table with my backpack slung on my back, Santa-style. I put my hand on the table when I reach it, but I don't sit down.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him, with a hint of annoyance in my voice. His smile fades away to a confused frown.

"Waiting for class to start," he says with a questioning tone. "Do you want me _not _to behere?"

"I do, but shouldn't you be with everyone else in Olympia?" I reply. Understanding finally shows through the confusion of his face, and he laughs. I give him a questioning look.

"Bella," his voice sounds like tiny bells ringing. "We canceled that on Tuesday. Don't you remember? You were there when we all tried to make excuses for not going." After hearing this, I shake my head, still not remembering any such thing. He continues to laugh in that charming way he does. My annoyance and confusion melt a little, but still remain. Edward sees my struggle and reaches his hand up to stroke my cheek. I can feel my face redden.

"It's ok, Bella. You just forgot. It's no big deal," he tries to soothe me. I nod and try to smile. I just end up blushing harder. "That's my Bella," he says smiling. I sit down next to him, reach into my bag for my Biology book, and place it on the table. I turn to Edward.

"So everyone's here still?" I ask.

"Well, Jasper and Emmett still wanted to go, so they went and won't be back until late Sunday." I wouldn't have known that because Jasper, Emmett, and Rose had already graduated the year before. I nod and sigh. Edward looks at me with concern.

"What's wrong?"

"I just don't know how I could have forgotten that," I shake my head with confusion.

"Bella, don't be too hard on yourself. With mid-terms coming up and Renee expecting, your head must not be caught up with the Cullens' unimportant schedules." I feel bad for being rude. I am about to apologize when Mr. Banner tells us to take out our notes from yesterday. I am never able to apologize to Edward.

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

I walk out of the girls' locker room after having an embarrassing gym class. Edward's leaning on the wall across the hall. He isn't smiling, but he isn't frowning either. When he sees me, he walks up to me, slides his arm around my waist and leads me to my truck. It is parked at the very back of the parking lot, so we have a long walk. Edward stares straight ahead. I look up at him.

"What's wrong, Edward?" I ask him, slightly worried. He looks down at me, smiles his crooked smile. It doesn't reach his eyes.

"Nothing, love," he replies. I give him a questioning look. He ignores it and looks up again. We are silent until we reach my truck. He walks me to the door. I open it and slide in. I turn to face him again.

"Are you sure nothing is wrong? You seem a little worried."

"It's really nothing, Bella. Alice just had a vision." I expect him to continue and tell me what it was about, but he just stares at me.

"Well? What was it about?" I ask him anxiously.

"Oh, well, she just saw a vampire coming to Forks next week." He looks embarrassed.

"That's all? Is this vampire bad or something?" He shakes his head.

"She's not bad, from what we've seen, but we'll be ready for her when she comes, just in case."

"Oh, ok," I say, slightly smiling. "Well, I guess I'd better get going. I love you." I lean forward, wanting a kiss. He complies happily. "Come to me later," I whisper, trying to sound mysterious, and of course, failing. Edward laughs and kisses me again.

"I will," he says, sounding the way I wish I could've. I smile and close the car door. When I look at where Edward standing, I see that he is already gone. I shrug and pull out of the parking space. I drive to the exit, passing Edward's silver Volvo. He and Alice are having a very intense conversation. It worries me. When they see me driving past, they change their expressions and wave. I wave back, unsure of what's going on. After I'm past them, I look in my rear-view mirror, and they are back to their serious conversation.

**Author's Note: Hope you liked it. Since school is starting VERY shortly, I won't be able to update very often, but if I get REVIEWS**,(--** hint hint) I will update faster. :D**


	2. Disappointment

When I get home from school, I go upstairs to my room and start on the three-page English essay that is due Wednesday. Charlie gets home shortly after I finish making the outline. I then rush downstairs to start dinner. I decide to cook some steaks.

Charlie asks me how my day was while I marinate them. I tell him it was fine, as usual. He nods and begins to set the table. I mash some potatoes and put them in a bowl. When everything is ready, we sit down and eat silently. We both finish quickly and I start washing the dishes. While I do that, Charlie goes into the living room and turns on the TV. A few seconds later I hear cheering crowds. He must be watching a baseball game.

After all the dishes are washed and put away, I rush upstairs and wait impatiently for Edward. He always comes around 6:30. I sit on the edge of my bed. I wait. At 7:30, he still isn't here. I continue to wait, my faith receding every minute he doesn't climb through the window. I give up at 10:30. I walk to the bathroom.

While I run the water to fill the tub for a bubble bath that is supposed to make me feel better after being stood up by my boyfriend, I realize that he could just be running late, and that he might come, just later than usual. Since the tub is barely full, I pull out the plug and take a quick shower.

I quickly get out, dry off, and get into a large t-shirt and sweatpants. I brush my teeth furiously and run downstairs quickly to say good night to Charlie. He is still in front of the TV.

"_I'mgoingtobednowdadgoodnight,"_ I say, all in a blur.

"What?" He looks at me, confused. I sigh and try to slow down my words.

"I'm going to bed now, Dad. Good night." He understands and nods.

"'night, Bells." I rush back upstairs, skipping every other step. I push open my door, and the room is empty. I frown and whisper "Dang it." I return to my bed, sigh, and slide under the covers. I roll over so my head's in the pillow. I wonder why Edward couldn't make it. I guess it was probably because of that new vampire that was coming to town. I sigh again and try to fall asleep, but I can't. I just keep on worrying about Edward and that vampire. I eventually bore myself to sleep.

I have a nightmare that confuses me. I am standing in Edward's room. I push the play button on his stereo, and And So It Goes by Billy Joel begins playing. I look at Edward, his face is sullen. He turns his head to look at the open door that leads to open air and some trees beside the house. All of the sudden a woman jumps into the window.

She has dark brown hair that is almost black with a beautiful curl to it. She has a round face, with eyes like dove chocolate. She has a nice figure with very well rounded curves for a vampire, which I expected she was. She is wearing a dark cream, billowing shirt, dark blue jeans, and black boots.

She looks at me, smiles, and then turns her attention to Edward. Her face fades to seriousness, and slowly walks to him. She puts her hand on his shoulder, a tear slides down her cheek, and she kisses him with so much passion. My heart breaks when I see Edward betray me by kissing her back.

She pulls back, walks away from him, and stands next to me. Edward looks at us both.

"I love you," he says. Then, I wake up.

**Ok, so I know this chapter is SHORT, but I'm not finished writing yet. It's only 12:00 a.m. Ha ha. I WILL be posting more TONIGHT!!! Be ready! Sorry, for some reason, I'm VERY hyper. I know, the way I'm acting is TOTALLY unlike me.(or is it???)But, anyway…REVIEW please. And I most certainly going to reply if you do, because we all love getting replies to our nice reviews… (or maybe that's just me)**

**But anyway, thanks for reading!!! CLICK THE GREEN BUTTON, PEOPLE!!!(Boy, I am crazy tonight lol)**


	3. Confusion

I wake up with a start. Who was Edward talking to in the dream? The vampire and I were standing next to each other. He could have been talking to either of us. I wonder what time it is. I turn towards my nightstand, where my clock is. It is 6:30 a.m. Charlie has probably left for work. I get up, walk into the bathroom, look at my hair, and cringe. It is a mess. I brush my hair until it is smooth. I brush my teeth also, and wash my face.

I walk back to my room to pick up my backpack. I see my notebook still on my desk. I get it and put it in my bag. I walk down the stairs to the kitchen. I get out some cereal, pour myself a bowl, and scarf it down quickly. I want to get to school early to see why Edward didn't come over last night and tell him about my dream. I clean out my bowl and put it away. The keys to my truck are hanging on a nail by the front door. I take them in my hand and walk outside to the usual wet and gloomy weather and my faded red truck I have grown to love.

When I start it, there's a large "poof" and then the engine starts. I pull out of the driveway and I drive to school. When I get there, there are only six cars in the parking lot, including Edward's silver Volvo. I drive my truck to the spot next to it. I look out my window, into his and see him sitting there smiling. He must be listening to classical music. It always makes him happy. I'm glad he is enjoying himself, after the stress of yesterday.

When I cut the engine, there's another "poof" and Edward looks towards me and smiles. I wave and get out of the car. He does the same. When I reach him, he kisses me sweetly.

"Hi," I say, smiling.

"Hello."

"I see you're feeling better." His smile fades a little bit, but he then recovers and continues to smile.

"Yes, I am because I realized I have the best girlfriend in the world and as long as I have her, everything will be fine." He smiles and kisses me on the cheek. I blush and push a strand of hair behind my ear. My face turns serious.

"What happened last night?" I ask him, my voice full of concern. He gives me a questioning look. "You didn't come over last night," I say, pouting a little bit. Realization shows on his face.

"Oh. Well, Alice saw something else about the new vampire last night, so we had to discuss what we were going to do about her."

"What did she see?"

"She saw you and the vampire laughing together. We think you're going to become friends. The only problem is, is that we only see an outlined figure of the vampire. We can't see what she really looks like. She decided to stay home, in case she had another vision."

"That's strange. I think I had a dream about her last night. It was strange."

"What happened?" he asks, curiosity clear in his crystal voice.

"Well, you and I were in your room. Then a vampire jumped through the door and looked at me, smiling. She then looked at you and walked over to where you were standing. She began to cry and kiss you." I say, looking down when I speak of the kiss. He looks at me like he's guilty of something. I give him a questioning look, shake my head, and continue on with the story of my dream. "And you...kissed her back." I see realization flash across his face, but then is quickly hidden by the indifferent stare he knows I cannot stand. I ignore it. "She walked back to me, and then you looked at us and said 'I love you.'

"Did I say it to you or her?" he asks.

"I don't know…I'm not sure which one of us you were looking at." His face falls.

"Oh."

"Do you think it means anything? Or do you think it was just my mind playing games with me?" He laughs. It sounds forced.

"I do think it was just your mind playing tricks on you. You don't have to worry. And if it does mean something, I'm _sure_ I would be speaking to you, love," he assures me. I smile and nod. He steps closer and kisses me again. "We'd better get to our classes, unless you _want_ to be late."

"I _would _love to be late, but I have a quiz next period." He smiles, puts his arm around my waist and leads me to Building 4 where our classes are.

* * *

School goes on as it normally would. I sit with Edward at lunch. We don't speak much. Edward just sits and stares at me while I eat. He does it often, but it still makes me uncomfortable.

"Are you sure everything's alright? You just look so distracted," I ask, a little annoyed that he's hiding things from me.

"I'm sure, Bella. Please don't worry. Everything will be alright." It sounds like he's trying to convince himself more than me. There is a long silence. I break it.

"I hope that this vampire comes and goes quickly so that we can get back to normal. I don't like all the tension."

"Neither do I. Bella, I'm sorry for acting this way. I just want to keep you safe," He leans closer to me. "Because if I ever lost you, life just wouldn't be worth living. I love you so much. It's because of you I'm living again. Before you, I was just a waste of space. I only walked around like a zombie, but you gave me my life back with all of your smiles. " He touches my cheek with his pointer finger. "You are like a ray of sunlight that shines over a dark forest and makes it full of light. You are my miracle." Tears build up in my eyes, but I hold them back and smile.

"I love you too, Edward. More than I can say." He's about to kiss me, but the bell rings and we quickly throw away our trays. Mine is empty. His is full.

After gym, I walk out of the locker room looking for Edward. He isn't anywhere in sight. I turn to Mike who is coming out of the boy's locker room and ask him if he's seen Edward. He shakes his head and frowns, jealous that I was looking for Edward instead of him. I tell him I'll see him tomorrow and run off to the parking lot. I see my truck, but there isn't a Volvo parked next to it. I sigh. Alice must have had another vision. I think of driving over to their house to see what's up. It sounds like a good idea, so I get into my truck and drive, slowly, to the Cullens' house.

When I get there, I see the garage door open with Emmett's Jeep, Carlisle's Mercedes , Rose's Convertible, and out in front, Edward's Volvo, still running. I park behind him, get out and walk to the front door. Before I get there, Esme opens the door.

"Hello, Bella. What a pleasant surprise." She smiles.

"Hi, Esme. I just wanted to see if you guys had learned anymore about his new vampire."

"Actually, Bella, she's already here." I freeze. "Don't worry, honey. She's a very nice girl. I don't think we have anything to worry about."

"Oh. That's…good. Is she inside? I'd like to meet her." Esme nods and leads me to the living room. Carlisle is sitting on the chair closest to me. Esme sits on the armrest beside him. Jasper and Emmett are standing across the room from them. Edward is nowhere in sight. Rose is sitting on the couch, smiling. Alice is on the opposite side, doing the same. In between them, sits the same vampire who was in my dream. She is wearing the same outfit that she wore in the dream.

When I walk in, Alice and Rose turn and smile at me.

"Hey Bella!" Alice's voice chimes. "It's so great that you came. We have someone for you to meet." She puts her hand on the vampire's shoulder. "This is our new friend, Clare." Clare smiles and gets up to shake my hand.

"Hi, Bella. I've heard so much about you. I'm sure you and I will be great friends." Her smile turns to a huge grin that is so cheerful, I can't help but smile back.

"I'm sure, also." I sit down next to Alice. Clare follows and sits between Rose and me.

"So you're a human, I see…and smell." She giggles at her joke. We all laugh along with her. "It's so nice to know that we vampires can be friends with humans. It's not very often that happens."

"Are you a vegetarian, too?" I ask, intrigued. She nods proudly.

"Ever since I was changed in 1919," she replies.

"That's great." I smile.

"So where are you from?"

"Originally, I'm from Chicago, but I was born in London, England while my parents were visiting my aunt. We moved to Illinois when I was 2, so I didn't pick up the English accent. I wish I had though. It's such a beautiful accent. We lived there my entire human life. I was changed by a nomadic vampire who ran away after they thought they'd drunk me dry. When I woke up, I was greeted by this family of five. They were all vampires. There was a husband and a wife. They had three children, who were tragically changed at the very young ages of five, seven, and twelve. The family didn't drink human blood, and they taught me how to hold back my thirst and hunt for animals instead. We had to move around every few years, like you all do, and we got to travel all around the world.

"Those were the best eighty-five years of my life. I felt like I was part of the family and wouldn't have traded them in for the world, but they were wrongly accused of compromising the hidden identity of vampires and were all… destroyed. I mourned for three years while staying on the move. I met the Denali clan last year up in Alaska, and they gave me hope to continue living. I then decided to try having fun again. They told me about your clan and how you had made friends with a human. I traveled through Canada, stopping in several places, to Washington and found your little town, which is very nice, by the way. And here I am. "

"We're so happy you're here, now, Clare, and you can stay with us as long as you want," Esme says.

"Thank you, Esme. I'd love to stay. You are all so kind." She smiles along with the rest of the family.

"Where's Edward?" I ask.

"Oh, he's up in his room. I don't know what's wrong with him. He came home from school early, ran straight up to his room, and hasn't come out since," Alice replies.

"Maybe I should go up and see if he's ok." I stand up.

"That's a good idea, Bella," Carlisle says. I walk up the stairs, and walk down the hall to Edward's room. The door is closed. I knock quietly.

"Edward? Is everything alright?" He opens the door immediately.

"Bella. What are you doing here?" He pulls me into his room and closes the door quickly.

"I just wanted to see if you were alright."

"Oh, well I'm fine, Bella." He has a distracted expression.

"Are you sure because from what I hear, it sounds like something's seriously wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, Bella."

"You've been saying that for a while now, and I'm just about fed up with it. There's something wrong, and I just want to know what it is. So, just please tell me."

"I just don't want to meet the new vampire yet, and you shouldn't be spending too much time with her. I don't trust her."

"You haven't even met her. I have, and I have to say, she's pretty nice. Maybe if you give her a chance, you might actually like her."

"Just…not yet, Bella." I give him a stern look. I finally give in and nod.

"Ok." We stare at each other for a long time, not saying a word. After a while, Edward sighs and steps forward to hold me.

"I'm sorry, Bella, love. I just don't want to meet her. I know I'm making this difficult, and I will try to stop." I hug him, pull away and nod.

"It's ok. I don't understand, but I'll let you do whatever you have to do."

"Thank you." He kisses me gently. I can feel all of the inconceivable pain on his lips while our lips move together. I try to melt it away by giving him all the love I can. I love him so much, and it hurts to see him in all this pain. I just want to make it go away. Make it go away. Away.

**I just wanted to thank EVERYONE who has reviewed, favorited, and alerted me and my story. :D you guys make me so HAPPY!!! If you want to make me HAPPIER(which would make me update faster..;)) REVIEW and I will love you forever ******


	4. Belief

**So I'm trying something new this time. This is the first time I've EVER written in Edward's point of view. This is a really short chapter, and I'm sorry, but I have to write a small chapter with Edward and then write one for Bella and maybe Clare. I don't think this will be the only thing I write today, but school just started yesterday(I know, really really late)and we already have tons of homework. So don't be disappointed if this is the only update I make today. But I will be trying harder to write. Please review ******

**Edward's POV**

She's not dead. Well, technically she is, but she is still walking and breathing, even though there is no need for her to. I refuse to see Clare. I don't want to get myself caught up in her beauty, intelligence, or glowing smile. Bella is all I'd ever want and need. Clare was just an…infatuation. I didn't really love her. I couldn't have…but I did. But if I really loved her, I wouldn't have left her.

Seeing her in Esme's perfectly clear mind froze me where I had stood and made me believe I was forever and finally dead. Except, I couldn't be in Hell. Bella's beautiful face was being broadcasted throughout every male's mind in Forks High School. If I were in Hell, there would be no trace of my pure and innocent Bella.

Clare was also present in my mind. I could see her as clearly as if she was standing directly in front of me. I turned away from where I imagined her standing, only to find her standing there as well. It was not her. It was the picture of her in my mind. I couldn't run away from her. She was there and I couldn't walk away this time.

She was at the house. The one place I thought I could finally be free of the pounding memories of our previous lives together. I wanted to be rid of all of the times we sat in the secret park we had found and visited to share our hidden embraces. The memories meant nothing to me after fifty or so years, but when they all came flooding back, I couldn't control the emotions I thought I'd never feel again. That was when I met Bella.

She and Clare didn't look much alike, but they both gave off a warm feeling of comfort. I love Bella. That will never change. She is my life and she is the only thing that matters in my senseless world. Clare is…was just a girl who kept my heart warm while I was in a stage of human adolescence. She wasn't important. She _was _beautiful, and of course even more stunning now, but her beauty means nothing to me. Bella is the most beautiful girl that ever existed, inside and out. I wasn't sure about Clare, but I was sure about one thing. Bella was the one, and that's all I needed to know.

Clare was once mine, and I swear on Bella's beating heart, will never be again.


	5. Despair

**Hey guys, I'm SO sorry that I haven't been updating lately. I know this is short, but I just felt compelled to update for you guys. I love all of my readers so much, and I feel so bad when I don't update. I also wanted to thank FeltbeatsIsLove for convincing me to update. :) Thanks so much for reading, please review :)**

I get home from the Cullens' around 7:30, only to find a note from Charlie saying that he's at the Blacks' and won't be back until after 10:00. I sigh. All alone again for another whole night. I trudge up the stairs to my room, ignoring the fact that I haven't eaten anything since lunch. When I reach my room at the end of the hall, I walk in and place my bag on the floor, next to my desk. I lie down on my bed for a while and stare at the ceiling, hopelessly. I sit up, while sighing longingly for Edward. I am pretty sure he isn't coming to see me tonight, so I don't even dare to look at the window. I don't want to get my hopes up, only to be disappointed.

I sit in the chair in front of my desk, and pull out the rough draft of my essay. I begin copying it onto my laptop, while thinking about Clare and the way Edward has been acting lately. I think about how Clare was so sweet, unlike I had expected. I also think about what in the world could make Edward not want to meet her. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

I continue to try to decipher his hesitance, but come up with nothing. After I finish typing, I click the Spell-check button, and realize I have made over 30 mistakes. I sigh at my carelessness and begin to correct the many errors. I look out my window quickly. The sun has set and it is almost completely dark. I think of how before Clare was in the picture, Edward would be here by now, and I'd be perfectly content in his strong, safe circle of love and protection.

All of the sudden, I feel a strong pair of arms hug me from behind. I jump from the sudden touch of coldness and turn around to find Edward's face only inches from my own.

"Edward." I plan to say more, but am caught up in the mixed emotions plastered on his face. I see sadness in his eyes, with a thick line of worry on his brow. He is smiling at me, but I can see that it is not genuine. I can see that he is not truly happy. I sigh. He looks at me, questioning my saddened face.

"Bella?" He asks, taking my face in his hands. I don't answer. I only continue to stare deeply into his liquid eyes, trying to find the true reason for his…depression. He responds to my intent staring, by doing the same, but with more confusion in his eyes. I find nothing but the sadness and now confusion I have seen so many times this week. I sigh, pull away, and look at him disappointed. I close my eyes for two seconds, and when

I open them, he is gone.

"Edward?!" I call out to him, looking around my room for him. There is no answer.

* * *

I wake up early the next morning, my head spinning because my lack of sleep throughout the night. After Edward disappeared, I cried for an hour. My heart is hurting for him. I don't know why he is acting like this. From my point of view, there is nothing bad happening in our lives and certainly nothing the least bit threatening.

I get out of bed a little while later, sighing and trudging towards the bathroom to begin to get ready for school. What I see in the mirror makes me gasp. My hair looks like a large haystack and it takes me a good twenty minutes to brush the tangles out. I am paler than usual, which makes me almost white enough to be a vampire. I shiver at the thought. My lips are pushed together tightly in a sullen frown. My eyes scare me the most. They are red and puffy because of the tears of last night. I know there is no way to hide their clear showing of my deep despair. I sigh and continue to do my best to look decent.

* * *

I get to school five minutes late. I was so busy trying to get the color back in my face, that I didn't notice how late it had gotten. I rushed out of the house and drove over the speed limit to Forks High School. When I reached the parking lot, I rushed my truck to the edge of the lot where there were only two cars parked throughout the 40-yard stretch.

I get out of the truck, slam the door shut, and sprint to shelter from the drizzling rain. I then run to Building 4 and into my first period class, Classic Literature. When I burst into the room, all eyes turn to me. Mr. Keenan scolds me and tells me to sit down. I do, and glance towards Edward's seat, only to find him staring straight at me, smirking. My heart flutters, and I look down, hoping that he hasn't seen the smile that appeared on my face for a split second. I ignore him the entire class.

Throughout the next few classes, I continue to ignore him. He never tries to talk to me, though. At lunch, I sit by myself at the edge of the cafeteria, trying to isolate myself from everything surrounding me. Edward, of course, surprises me and sits across from me, ten minutes into lunch. I quietly gasp and look down at my food. He doesn't say anything. He just sits there and stares at me. I curse under my breath and I'm sure Edward hears it because his head whips up when I do.

"Bella," he breathes hoarsely. I continue to stare downwards. "Talk to me," he all but growls. I hear the intense anger in his voice, and fear for the lives of the people around us, and when I think about it, my own. I consider speaking to him, but I shake my head sternly and stand up. I walk out of the door confidently. The bell then rings.


	6. Happiness

**Hey guys! I finally updated! I wrote this chapter quickly and it was very spur of the moment. I hope you enjoy it! Please Review!**

"Bella!" I hear Edward call behind me. I wish he would leave me alone. I am so confused right now. I don't know whether I should want to work all of our newly-found problems out or just isolate myself from him completely, until this passes. I know I love him, and I know that I could never live without my Edward, but ever since Clare came to Forks, my life has turned upside down. I know that she has nothing to do with all of this, though. She is so nice and her story is heartbreaking. It just doesn't make any sense that Edward could be letting go of everything he and I have…had. And all because of Clare.

I look over my shoulder to see if he has followed me. He has not. I sigh with relief. Thank God, I think. I stop at my locker and head to building 6 for Biology…with Edward. Darn it, I say to myself. I thought I was free of him. I still need time to think about what to do. I reach the classroom, and peek in to see if Edward is there yet. He is, and is staring straight at me. My breathing hitches and I jump backwards into Lauren. She scowls at me and stalks away in her, what Alice had told me, fake Prada's. I lean against a nearby locker and sigh, trying to decide what to do. Should I go in and ignore Edward, try to talk to him, or simply run away?

I could run to my truck and drive home, away from all of this confusion for at least a few hours. I seriously consider leaving, but scold myself for being a wimp. I take a deep breath and walk into the room, ready to face whatever was ahead.

* * *

I walk into the room slowly, testing my bravery. If I had rushed inside, I would have lost my nerve and skipped the class. But brave-old Bella decided to face her fear; Edward Cullen.

I saunter over to our lab table. I sit down and slam my books on the tabletop, not looking at Edward. All of the sudden, my books are being held by Edward's cold, pale hands in front of me.

"You are going to ruin the covers if you continue to slam them," he says, mocking me with his eyes. He hands them back to me. I glare at him while I set down my books, over-exaggerating the slowness. He smirks when I sneak a peek at him. I look away quickly and feel angry tears from in my eyes. He sees them.

"You really must control your emotions, love." I spin myself towards him. I can feel a few hot tears fall.

"Don't you dare say that to me!" I say, with anger and astonishment. He had never been intentionally rude to me before and it hurts me like daggers being thrown at me from all directions. Before I can say anything else (or wipe away more tears), Mr. Banner begins the class. He says that we are going to be watching a video about the anatomy of earthworms. I sigh with relief because I know that there wouldn't be any reason for me to work with my "partner."

The lights are turned off and Mr. Banner starts the movie. Several earthworms begin slithering across the screen. My stomach flip-flops at the sight. I look down at my hands, keeping my eyes off the screen. I hear Edward chuckle next to me and I growl at him quietly. I hear someone jokingly gag behind me and a few giggles follow it. I roll my eyes.

I feel Edward suddenly inch closer to me and I instinctively inch closer to him. His arm wraps around my waist and I let myself relax. He leans over to brush his lips against my hair. I let out a happy sigh. Then, I freeze. I realize what I have just been doing; giving into him.

"Edward, stop," I say while pulling away, awkwardly. I look at him, my eyes filled with worry and a hint of anger because of my almost giving in.

"Whatever you want…" he says reaching for his green spiral notebook. He rips a page out of it and begins to draw tiny doodles that could have been sold for hundreds of thousands of dollars, they were so good. I raise my eyes back to the TV screen. A few minutes later, a piece of paper has slid in front of me. It says, in perfect penmanship;

_Interesting movie, isn't it?_

My heart skips a beat, and I look over at Edward. He stares at me for a second and then gestures for me to write a response. I sigh and look down at the paper. I lift my pencil to compose a sloppy answer.

_I'm actually enjoying it. Maybe if you __paid attention__ to it, you'd enjoy it too. _

I then slide it back over to him. He smirks, reaches for it, and reads what I wrote. He smirks again and writes his response quickly. Less than a second later, the paper is in front of me again.

_I don't have to pay attention. I've seen this video and others like it many times. ;) Will you ever be finished being angry with me? _

_Maybe…someday. It would be so much easier if I just knew what's made you act this way!_

_Have I been acting any different? I haven't noticed a change. _

_I certainly have. You've been mysterious(more than usual), you've had many mood swings, and you've been disappearing on me. Those are only a few of the long list I have. _

_Bella, I'm sorry for all that. _

_You've been saying that to me so much, that I'm starting to not believe it. You always say you're sorry, but you never tell me what for._

_I will tell you eventually. Just please try to be patient, love._

My heart still skips when he calls me "love."

_How can I be patient when you are ruining our relationship?!_

_Bella, calm down. I __swear__ that I will tell you as soon as I can. Ok, my love?_

_Ok, but just so you know, I'm not going to wait forever. _

_I know, love. I know._

I smile, knowing that I now have his word that he will tell me everything soon. I grab onto his hand that is rested on his lap under our table. I look at his face, and he returns the gaze, smiling. We continue to sit there, staring at each other happily until the end of class. Mr. Banner dismisses us and the students begin to file out of the room with Mr. Banner following them. Edward and I haven't left yet because we are still gathering our things. After my books are in my bag, I turn towards Edward, ready to leave. He is not there, though. I look around the room, only to find him standing next to the door. I smile and start walking towards him. He surprises me by closing the door and rushing over to me. I look up at him with confusion.

"Edward, what are you—" he interrupts me with his lips crashing down on mine. I immediately throw myself into the kiss, so happy to finally be with him again. His arms are around my waist and mine are wrapped around his neck. Edward begins to step closer to me and I take a step back with every step he takes forward. Eventually, I am pushed against the wall next to Mr. Banner's desk. Edward lifts his hands so that they are on the wall, surrounding my head. He pushes himself closer to me and I welcome him.

All of the sudden there is a loud bang and Mr. Banner walks through the door. He looks at us both. I gasp and look up at Edward. Why hadn't he heard him coming?

"Now, what are you two doing in here still?" he asks, angrily. I feel all the blood rush to my face. Edward turns around to look at Mr. Banner and runs a hand through his bronze hair that is now tousled because of me running my own hands through it. "I never expected that my two best students would be doing this in my room. I do not want to give you a detention, so I will let you off with a warning. If I ever catch you two at it again, you will be staying after school." I am grateful for him letting us off and I thank him quietly and pull Edward out of the room quickly.

"Oh my god, I cannot believe that happened! I am so embarrassed! Why didn't you—" Edward stopped me again.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I was so caught up in the moment that I blocked out all other thoughts. I had no idea that was going to happen. I'm sorry."

"Oh, Edward. It's okay. I'm just grateful he didn't turn us in. Let's just go home, I don't care if we miss a few classes. I'm not in the mood to do gym anyway." A smirk suddenly appears on his face.

"Are you ever in the mood for gym, Bella?" I laugh and shake my head. "Let's go. I'll leave my Volvo for Alice. Let's go to your house."

"Okay," I reply, smiling wide. We run off to the parking lot and we quickly drive away, looking forward to finishing what we started in Mr. Banner's room.


	7. Weariness

**Holidays are the best time to write, aren't they? I've never written two chapters of a story in one week before! I hope you enjoy! Please review because I'd really like to know if you're liking this story so far. Enjoy!**

Clare's POV

_Edward, my dear love, come to me. I pray that you remember the love we had. I hope that you still want me after all the years we've been parted. Please say that you've thought about me…because you've been the only thing in my mind all of the hundred years we were separated. I _loved _you and you _loved_ m. I _love _you and you _love_ m? I _love_ you and you…_loved_ me? Prove my worries wrong. Prove our love is as strong as it was before. It still feels the same to me; being with you. Even though the closest we've been is living at opposite parts of your house. You haven't spoken to me. You haven't even looked at me. Why is that? Why are you dismissing me like I'm no more important to you than a human in this small, wet town? I used to be the most important thing in your life. What happened? You're still my reason for…living. There's a spark that you've kept lit in my heart. Without the belief that you were waiting for me somewhere, even if it was in heaven, I would have been dead inside and out long ago. I love you. I am waiting for you. Come to me and put my worries to rest once and for all._

The clock ticks loudly in my sensitive ears. Its persistent clicks dig themselves deeper into my brain, making their presence known. They're trying to tell me that Edward will not come. They tell me that he doesn't care for me anymore. They say that we are not meant to be together. I don't want to be given up on by him. I was sure that our lives were meant to be forever intertwined. That's what he had always said. I, of course, believed him because…he was my love. Whatever he said, I believed. Whatever he did, I'd copy. Whatever he believed, I believed with all of my heart. We were one; the same. He promised that we'd be together forever, and now's the perfect chance for his words to be literally true. We have forever. This is our time. Why is he not coming? What is keeping him from me?

I am sometimes suspicious of the girl who came to the Cullens' house that one time…Bella. I believe that was her name. She was sweet and kind. I liked her. She seemed right at home with Edward's family. That was the first thing that caught my attention. How was she connected to this all-vampire family? Her heart still beats, she still breathes. There is nothing very special about her. Why did she ask for Edward that day? Are they friends of some kind? I can't even consider them being anything more. Edward said that I was the only woman he could ever love. He said it constantly. I believed him and I still do, but why is everything falling apart now? Why is he turning his back on me?

Has this Bella maybe done something to change his mind about me? If she has, I pray that my heart will break. If she has made Edward give up on me and move on, my life will truly be over. I would shut down and lock myself up somewhere, never to return. I would close myself down and give into the pain that I have been constantly fighting all of these years. Maybe I would even go to the Volturi and let them take my life forever. Would they do such a thing, though? Would they kill one of their kind just because it was their wish to be silenced forever? I've only met one of them, and I don't think they'd be that cruel. I would go if I had to, though, because losing my one and only love would make me a worthless, wasted carcass that was not needed by anyone.

Without Edward, I am nothing. I am depressed and worth nothing without him there to tell me that he loves me. I just go through the motions to keep myself alive and to keep my true self from the human world. I am just a lonely, silent girl who watches every other person in the world have their fun, while I wait for the day when I can finally have my own. I'm always hiding in the shadows, waiting for my chance to, pardon the expression, step out into the light. I have always been a quiet child. My human life was full of sadness and constant yearning for companionship. I was always secluded in a dark room, waiting for my Prince Charming to come and take me to his castle. And unlike most sad stories such as my own, my prince actually came. His name was Edward Masen and he was my savior. He came into my dull, dark life when I was sixteen years old. He was seventeen, someone I would have never been able to associate myself with because of my father's constant worrying about my well being. He thought young men were the most dangerous of all people for young ladies, such as myself, to become acquaintances with. But when he met Edward, he gave up on his belief. He loved Edward as a son, and looked forward to the day he would become his son-in-law. Edward saved me from the darkness. He pulled me out of the dark world I had made for myself. He turned me into a happy girl, and I was so happy to be with him. He gave me his whole heart and I gave him mine.

We were together for one short year. After our first wonderful year together, he disappeared. One day, we were laughing together in the woods near my father's house and the next, I was mourning the loss of my one and only love. My father paid for extensive searches for Edward, but he was never found. I prayed for his return every day, but he never came. Later that year, he was guessed to be dead and I had no reason not to believe it. My heart was not broken when he wasn't found, though. I knew that he was gone, but I knew that it wasn't forever because eventually I would die and we'd be together again. It always made me smile, thinking that we'd live in heaven together forever. Even at that young age of seventeen, I knew that we'd end up together forever. I was just as happy as I had been with Edward actually beside me because I always felt him. He was always there with me in my heart and I was content with that.

One night, I was sitting on the grass behind the house, talking. There was no one physically there, but I was talking to Edward, and I was sure that he was there listening in spirit. All of the sudden, I heard the rustling of leaves behind me and I turned around quickly, getting up from the ground. My heart thought it was Edward and my body reacted the only way it knew how; I ran to the bush, awaiting Edward's embrace. It was not my dear Edward, though. It was a tall, dark man. His eyes were a bright burgundy and entrancing. I walked closer to him and he took me in his arms and told me, in his low and soothing voice, that he would take care of me. I believed him. He bent down to kiss my cheek, but he lowered his lips to my neck. At first, it frightened me, but I quickly gave into him. Soon, I felt his sharp teeth bite down onto my neck and I suddenly felt the blood rush from my body into his mouth. I did not scream or squirm because I was sure that what he was doing would kill me. I was so open to death that I was letting this dark creature take my life. He did, but not exactly how I expected. He took away my human life and gave me a life that I had never, in my wildest dreams, expected.

When I woke from my dreamless slumber of pain, I was alone in a sewer somewhere in the middle of town. It was dark and there were gray shadows surrounding me. I was scared and didn't know how I had gotten in there or what had happened to me. I later remembered that fateful night that my life was taken away from me, and was confused of what I had become. I wandered through the tunnels under my hometown for days, praying to God that one day; I'd be free from this dark prison. I sometimes smelled a tangy smell from above me and wanted to climb the slippery walls around me and consume whatever was above my new "home." Eventually, I got to an opening in the tunnel and was finally able to get out of the smelly sewers. I walked out of them and came to a dense forest where I later met the vampire family that would become my own. There were five of them. A man and woman who were married. They had three children; one girl, and two young boys. The mother and fathers' names were Sandra and Thomas. They were so kind and welcoming that I felt like they were the caring parents I never had. My father had been a business man and wasn't home much. When he was home, though, he was strict and protective. I loved him but was always wishing to be free from his tight grasp. My mother had died following my birth and I never spoke of her. The vampire children felt like siblings to me. The eldest; Margaret was twelve but had been alive for over thirty years. She was a very close friend to me and I felt like she was my older sister. The two younger boys; Charles and Andrew were sweet but shy and absolutely adorable. Charles looked like he was seven, but he was really in his early twenties and was very wise for even a twenty year old. Andrew was physically two years younger, but was really seventeen, just like me. We were best friends, and that was all. We were so much like brother and sister that we never even looked at each other any other way. I was welcomed into their warm family immediately and I felt almost as happy as I had been when Edward was alive.

I loved the Langtons and I owe my life to them. They were the ones who told me that I was a vampire in the first place. At first, I was scared of myself and wished that I could separate myself from this creature I was made into. I was never afraid of my family, though. They never seemed the least bit threatening to me and I was so happy that they'd be there to help me through everything that was to come ahead. When they first told me what I was, I was worried that I was going to have to kill humans to survive and I wanted to starve myself if that were true. The Langtons reassured me that I would never have to do that. They told me that I would be able to survive on the blood of animals. I was disgusted that I'd have to take the lives of such sweet beings, but when the intense thirst came, I knew that I'd have to put up with it and gave in. I still never felt completely fine with what I had to do to live. I lived with the Langtons for over eighty years. Then one day, my life was changed forever…again.

I had been staying away from the family for a few months, studying at Oxford University. We kept in touch by sending letters to each other several times a week. Everything was great until their letters stopped coming. I wrote to the family often, just as we had always been but they never answered. Eventually, it was whole month without me receiving any response from them. I was so worried that I left school early and went home to see what had kept them from writing. When I got home, I was welcomed by no one. There was no one at the house. I looked everywhere for them; the house, our backyard, and throughout the entire woods surrounding our hidden home. They were nowhere to be found. I was worried out of my mind for their safety. I moved back into the house, waiting for them to return from wherever they had gone.

A few weeks later, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to find an intimidating man smiling widely at me. He told me he was from the Volturi and that he had heard of my return home. I was frightened of him, but invited him into the house anyway. He sat down on the little sofa in our parlor and looked much too grand to be sitting on such simple furnitire. He said his name was Aro and that he was here to tell me news from my family. He caught my interest instantly and I begged him to tell me if they were safe. He told me that they had been taken care of and that I should no longer worry about them. It sounded as if he was trying to comfort me, but his use of words frightened me and I was suspicious of what he meant by "taken care of." Just thinking about what he could have meant made my un-beating heart break. I asked him what he meant and he chuckled softly and caught my eyes with his own. He told me that there had been a rumor that they had been telling humans about vampires existing and telling them lies about the way we were ruled. Aro said that he had to take them into Voulterra and question them to see if the rumors had been true. I was outraged that he could have suspected such good, kind people and I told him so. He told me that people aren't always what they seem, especially if their vampires. I asked him if he found them guilty reluctantly, praying to God -if he would even listen to a damned creature like myself- that he found them innocent, as I was sure they were. His face suddenly fell and shook his head "no." He told me that he was sorry and that he wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for the safety of all of our kind. I got to my knees and cried dry tears for hours. Aro just sat there and watched me writhe in pain for the loss of the only family I had. Eventually, he left me to grieve on my own. I stayed in the house for weeks, not doing anything but lying on the ground, replaying all of the happy times my family and I had in this house and the many others that we had. I knew that one day, I'd have to get up and continue living, but I was trying to hold onto the memories we made before my horrible life took over my mind.

I wandered around the world for a few years, never letting the Langtons leave my heart and mind. I wanted to keep them with me for as long as possible. Eventually, I made my way to Alaska and met another clan of vampires who did not feed on human blood. I stayed with them for less than a year. They told me about their friends, the Cullens, who were also "vegetarian" vampires, such as ourselves. They told me how one of them had stayed with them a few weeks previous to my coming upon them. They said that his name was Edward and was physically seventeen years old. He sounded somewhat similar to my Edward, which caught my attention and led me to asking them where this family lived. They told me a small town in Washington and I later decided to go and meet them for myself.

When I reached the little town called "Forks," I decided to ask around for the Cullens' residence and was directed to their large estate surrounded by a beautiful forest. I was welcomed into their house and most of the Cullens accepted me. The only one who didn't was Edward Cullen. The day that I first came to their home, Carlisle and Esme; the leaders of their coven, introduced me to their "adoptive children." I met Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie that day. There was one Cullen that I had not yet met; Edward. I was intent on meeting him because I wanted to see if he was anything like my Edward. Esme had told me that Edward was not at home, but at school and that he'd be home soon. We continued to talk for several hours. When I finally heard a car drive towards the house, I got up quickly from the sofa I had been sitting on, only to see a flash of _my _Edward's face run through the house and up the stairs. That was when I realized that my Edward was a vampire and that he never died. I was ecstatic that I had finally seen my dear, dear Edward again. But my heart was broken time and time again when I tried to say hello to him. He locked himself in his room and never came out. I never gave up though. I continued to knock on his door and call to him, but was never answered.

Even now, I'm still trying to get him to speak with me, but am still unsuccessful. I cry dry tears for him now and pray that one day, he'll finally see me and hold me in his strong arms. I love him so much and I know that no matter what he has been through since we last saw each other, that we'll be together again and that I'll finally be completely happy.


	8. Truth

**New update, guys! There's nothing new, so I'm going to let you get right to the story. I hope you enjoy it and please review!**

Edward and I get back to my house around two o'clock. When I stop the car, I hear the passenger side door open and close in a second and Edward suddenly appears beside me. He opens the door for me and leads me to the front door with his arm around my waist. I smile up at him and take out my key to unlock the door. I push it into the lock, but before I can open the door, I am turned towards Edward with his lips on mine. It's a sweet kiss; an apologetic kiss. I suppose he's apologizing for us getting caught in Mr. Banner's room, but I don't care. I would get caught everyday just so I could get a kiss from Edward.

When we finally part for air, I look into his eyes and run my hand through his tousled, auburn hair. He leans his head into my arm and kisses me there, gently. I sigh, smiling.

"I'm happy we left early," I say. He nods his head nonchalantly, still kissing my forearm. "I think we should go inside," I giggle. He responds only by grabbing my wrist forcefully, letting go of my arm and waist. He opens the front door and leads me inside. Edward begins to walk towards the living room while I turn to close the door.

Suddenly, I feel strong arms turn me around yet again. I gasp at the roughness and look into Edward's eyes for one split second before his lips crash down on mine again. He pushes me against the door and kisses me like he did in the biology lab. We continue to kiss for a while longer. Then, Edward begins to back up and twirls me around so that I am walking backwards into the living room. We continue to kiss while we walk towards the green couch. When we reach it, Edward lowers me onto it hastily. I smile and continue to kiss his sweetly, moist lips. I can feel mine swelling, but I don't care. I'm with Edward, and that's all that matters.

Our passion begins to build rapidly and I can feel the need in Edward's kisses. I run my hands up and down Edward's arms soothingly while we kiss. When I reach for the top button of his shirt, ready to unbutton it, he freezes. His lips suddenly leave mine, and I can see him regain his control. He gets up and sits at the opposite edge of the small couch.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but you know what my limits are," he says with regret and, dare I say, disappointment in his voice. I sit up also and slide over to where he is sitting; on the armrest. I put my hands on his shoulders, and begin to massage them lightly, silently apologizing for pushing him too far. He leans back into me and I see him close his eyes. I continue to massage his tense shoulders for a long time, until he finally opens his eyes and stares up at me. I then lean down, slowly, and kiss him lightly on the lips. The kiss is short, sweet, and, yet again, apologetic. But this time, I'm the one apologizing.

"I love you so much Edward. I didn't mean to push you too far. I'm so selfish," I say, trailing off. He suddenly sits up and turns to face me.

"Bella, don't be sorry. I should be. I'm refusing to give you what you want." He raises his index finger to brush it against my cheek. I don't want him to feel guilty, so I kiss him again, to show him how much I love him. We don't get carried away, though, not wanting to ruin the moment. I pull away, slowly, after a while. I feel like now would be the right time to talk about everything that's going on.

"Edward, can we talk?" I ask, cautiously. He nods.

"Of course, love. What would you like to talk about?"

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about...everything. Everything that's gone on since Alice had that vision." I saw Edward's face go even whiter than it usually is, if that's even possible. I could see that he was scared of what we were about to talk about.

"Alright, Bella," he replied, obviously trying to remain calm.

"So let's start with Clare," I say.

"Clare?" he asks.

"Yes, Clare. Now tell me, how do you know her?" I see his eyes flash with astonishment.

"How did you know?" he asks breathless.

"It wasn't hard to figure out. Why else would you refuse to see her…unless you knew her from your past." Edward looks down, ashamed. "When did you know her? Tell me everything."

"I met Clare when I saw seventeen, Bella. She was sixteen and lonely. She was living with her father and I could see that she was all alone emotionally. We had a…connection. We were all each other had and we thought we were in love." _Thought, I ponder. _"We spent a year together, but then I got incredibly sick with the Spanish Influenza. I didn't tell Clare about my illness because I did not wish to worry her. I believed that I'd recover and be with her again in little time. My mother took me to the clinic where we both became sicker." I could see pain in his eyes. I knew where he was going with the story and what was coming up; his mother's death.

"As you know, my mother passed soon after being admitted into the clinic, while I lived longer, but still suffering." He speaks with cold indifference in his voice, trying to mask his true feelings. I'm hurt that he hides his emotions from me. "You know the rest," he says, trailing off.

I am silent for a long time, thinking about what he had said. I am feeling so many different things, that I don't know whether to be angry, hurt, or understanding. All three emotions, plus many more, were all running around in my heart. At first, I am angry and hurt because he had lied to me and said that I was his first and only love. That had obviously been a lie. But then, after a while, I begin to understand how Edward felt because of how much sadness and, what I believe is, regret he expressed. I knew that I couldn't be angry at him for the past. It all had happened before my mother was even born!

I don't know what to do. I don't know whether I should take this information well or to tell him to leave and let me think about it. The second choice sounds better to me in the current state I'm in. In some way, I had already known what Edward and Clare's past were. I guess I just didn't want to accept that _my _Edward had loved someone else.

While I sit on the rough, un-comfy couch in the darkening living room, Edward is sitting silently beside me, staring straight at the wall, not moving. I slowly get up from the couch and begin to walk towards the stairs and up to my room. When I reach it, I open the wood door, and lay down on my bed. A few minutes of lying in completely silence, I hear heavy footsteps walk up the stairs. It's Edward, not even caring to walk quick and silently as he would usually do.

He comes up to my bedside and kneels in front of me.

"Bella. I am so sorry for my past. If I had known what was to come, I would never have wasted myself on her. I would have saved myself for you and only you. I love you so much and you are my one and only love now. You are all I care about and all that I want. I wouldn't give what we have up for Clare or any other girl in the entire world; past, present, or future. And even though Clare is back, I refuse to be near her because you are all I want and all I care about. So please Bella, do not worry about where my devotion lies. It will always be you."

I can feel tears in my eyes, and I rush to wipe them away. I sit up slowly and look deep into his eyes. I see sadness and, yet again, regret. I want to forgive him and act like nothing ever happened. But I know that it is much more complicated than that. I am so tired after hearing everything he said, and I just want to be alone.

"Edward," I say with despair in my voice. "I don't know what to think or do right now. So could you please just…leave and give me some time to register everything?" I see pain in his eyes, but I ignore it, too hurt to care.

"Of course, Bella. I will leave you alone. If you want me, I'll be at home. I love you," he says. He leans forward to kiss me, but I turn my head to the side. He simply kisses my wet cheek and steps up to my open window, and jumps out quickly. I lay back down on my bed and I cry out all of the pain I had stored up inside. I guess the lion hadn't only fallen in love with the lamb…


	9. Desperation

**Hey guys! Here's anothe new chapter. I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed last chapter. You have no idea how much it means to me. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please review!**

I run back to the house slower than usual, trying to work out everything Bella and I had previously discussed. I feel absolutely horrible for what I have done to her. I know I hurt my love so badly, and I just want to hold and comfort her, but I know she does not want me. I hope that my past has not changed her love for me. I love my dear Bella so much, and I never want anything to come between us. But of course, Clare, my old love, came into the picture and shook everything up.

I do not want to blame her for all of the problems Bella and I are currently having. I don't have the heart to blame all of this on Clare after my constant ignoring her. I know she wants to speak with me, but I am frightened of what will come of our conversation. I just have to keep control of myself and keep Bella in my mind at all times, and I'll know exactly what to say so that no one gets hurt. I can't have either of my loves' broken hearts on my conscience.

When I finally get to the house, I jump into the doorway that opened into my room. I look around the room at all of the music I have stacked on every single shelf space available. I walk over to my CD collection and begin to look for a specific song. When I find the album, I inject it into my CD player that is connected to amazing speakers that are sitting at the top of my music shelves. I sit down on my black leather couch and wait for the song to begin playing. Billy Joel's And So It Goes begins to play and I instantly relax at the sound of my favorite song.

_In every heart there is a room_

_A sanctuary, safe and strong_

_To heal the wounds from lovers past_

_Until a new one comes along._

_I spoke to you in cautious tones_

_You answered me with no pretense_

_But still I feel I said too much_

_My silence is my self-defense._

When I listen to the lyrics very closely, I suddenly realize that this song relates perfectly with my feelings right now. It explains my heartbreak of losing Clare and my new love for Bella. The song suddenly fills me with anger and sadness because it describes the one thing that I wanted to escape from. And now, the most beautiful song ever written has been ruined for me. I get up and trudged over to the CD player and push the "power" button to turn it off.

I open the door that leads to the hall of the house and walk down the stairs to check on my family. I am open to anything that will take my mind off of what has happened between my Bella and me. When I reach the living room, it is empty, so I decide to go for a light hunt in the surrounding woods. I am running through the forest as fast as I can, when I suddenly smell the blood of an animal and suddenly stop. I sniff the air, feeling my animal instincts take over. I find a large buck and feed quickly, not slowing to enjoy the taste of the blood running down my throat.

When I am finished drinking, lay the carcass down. Suddenly, I smell a vampire and I turn quickly to see who is watching me. I see a bush moving slightly and I walk up to it slowly, baring my teeth as I approach it.

"Who's there?" I snarl. A head pops out of the bush. I cannot see the face but the hair is long, curly, and dark. It's Clare. "Clare. What are you doing here?" She raises herself higher into the air, and I see her face to face for the first time in almost one hundred years.

"Edward," She breathes. "I'm sorry, I saw you run out here, and I wanted to talk, so I thought now would be a good time." This was the reason I came here, to get away from her and the talk we've yet to have. I sigh and relax my stance. I run my hand through my hair, nervously. "I missed you so much," she says quickly. I don't know what to say. Did I miss her? I really don't know. I did miss her, but that doesn't mean that I want her now. I decide to ignore the question.

"When were you changed?" I ask. I see sadness on her face. I feel bad for hurting her, but I remember who the important girl in my life is: my dear, sweet Bella.

"1919; a year after you…disappeared."

"How?" I ask. There is sadness in my voice.

"A nomadic vampire came and bit me. They left me to die, but I woke up a vampire three days later."

"I am sorry."

"Don't be. I'm happy with my life now," she says, trying to cheer me up.

"That's good."

"Yes, it is." We are silent for a while. Then Clare speaks. "So who's Bella?" I tense at the sound of my love's name spoken on the lips of my former beau. My dear, sweet Bella... How could I ever describe her? She is indeed my girlfriend, but I don't believe that title expresses the undeniable love I have for her. She is my life, heart, and soul. She is my perfect, other half. She is everything that I need and want. She is the most important part of my so-called "life."

"Bella," I say, searching for the right words. "Bella is my love." I say it quickly and quietly, barely at a whisper, not wanting to hurt dearest Clare more than necessary. I look down at the grass below me, not wanting to see the pain I know is showing on her face. I hear her let out a strained breath. I look up at her, finally. Heartbreak is all I see. Her face shows the pain she felt, realizing that I had moved on from our century-old love.

"You don't love me anymore?" she asks, while choking back dry sobs.

"Of course, I will always love you…in a way. Clare, what we had was different from what Bella and I have now. We loved and wanted each other, but Bella and I need each other. It's like a gravitational force that binds us together. I've tried to break it by leaving her, for her own safety, but it just brought her right back to me." I feel so horrible explaining my love to the girl I used to love with all of my heart. I do not wish to break her heart. "I love her, Clare." She whimpers softly, trying to hide her dry tears. "I'm sorry." With that, I walk up to Clare and I pull her into a tight embrace, wanting to comfort her.

At first, she keeps her arms at her sides, trying to pull away from me. But eventually, she gives in and grasps onto my arms, sobbing into my shoulder. I whisper that "I'm sorry" and that "everything will be alright" countless times while she cries. When Clare finally calms down, I sit her down on a nearby rock, and continue to hold her in my arms. When she is able to speak, she asks me of how I became a vampire. I proceed to tell her my entire life story, up until a few weeks ago, which is when she arrived.

"Oh Edward, I'm so sorry," she sobs. "I should have been there with you, supporting you, taking care of you."

"No, Clare. Everything turned out for the best, do not worry about me. I am as happy as I possibly can be," I reassure her. She looks at me for a while.

"I don't believe you," she says finally. "I don't think you're happy at all. What did she do to you?" I presume "she" means Bella.

"Bella didn't do anything," I lie. She senses my not telling the truth.

"Then why do you look so guilty?" I then decide to give in, and tell her of everything that has gone on since she came to Forks and how Bella had recently sent me away after I told her the truth. When I finish telling Clare everything about my hurting Bella, she looks me in the eyes.

"Don't ever be ashamed of what we have, Edward. We still have something. We still love each other. I can feel that you still want me. Don't fight it anymore, Edward. I know that Bella seems like she's the right one for you, but you have to know that it's me. I was your first love. You can't just throw that away," she says slowly, with hopeful, sad eyes. I shake my head.

"No, Clare. Bella is my everything. She is my love. I cannot and will not give her up," I say firmly. She sighs heavily, stands up, and walks toward a nearby tree. She raises her hands and rests them on a hovering branch.

"You may think that now Edward, but eventually you'll realize that I am the right one for you. First loves are always the strongest. Second loves never make it." With that, she turns away from me and runs out of sight, leaving me alone with her last sentence still hanging in the air.

"_Second loves never make it."_


	10. Finality

**And I'm back! Hello, everyone! I honestly hadn't planned on finishing this story tonight with this one chapter, but as I was writing it, I just felt like I'd said what I had needed to say with this story. I was reading through the story before and I just had this feeling that it needed to be continued. I was only in middle school when I wrote the majority of this story, but I still feel that I have a sense of what my younger self wanted out of this story...she just couldn't find it. But I feel like I've found it for her. I'm proud of this ending because I now know that the story needed it. Thank you to ALL of my readers who followed me throughout this story. I truly appreciate it! Now enjoy this final chapter, but know that I'm not done with FanFiction just yet! Please review! Hugs!  
**

_And every time I've held a rose_

_It seems I only felt the thorns_

_And so it goes, and so it goes_

_And so will you soon I suppose..._

My chuckle's echo vibrates throughout my bedroom, its cruelty edging into whatever part of a soul I might have left. Good old Billy just knows exactly how to toy with my emotions. I feel like a monster. Well, I guess I am one on the inside, so it is only fitting that I begin to take on such a form on the outside.

What have I to lose now? My ancient human self has lost his love and the monster in me has lost his. Why must I always lose what I love most? Well, yes Billy, I have most assuredly felt the thorns. But they do not hurt nearly as much as the wilting of my two lovely roses; one pink with the innocence of her blushes and the other deep red darkened by loss and my inner temptation.

I have to admit it now...now that I have lost all I've ever held dear in my somewhat human life with my Bella. I am tempted by the siren that is Clare. My long-lost Clare. What kind of God is there that tortures a soul like this? A good God, I would imagine, since He is meant to torture what is evil. But then why is He torturing my dear Bella? She does not deserve this. She never has!

My poor, innocent love...What can I do to take away her pain? No words from me can lessen her pain. No...no words. But maybe actions? Can I sever all ties? Can I leave her to pick up her own pieces of battered heart lying on the floor between us? I must. For my Bella.

For my Bella I will leave.

* * *

I am stuffing a duffel bag full of clothes when I hear a knock on my door. I can hear thoughts laced with nervousness just outside the door and I can tell it is Clare. And she can, of course, tell that I am inside.

I walk slowly to the door and hold my hand a hair away from the waiting doorknob. I pause and take in an unnecessary breath. I open the door.

"Clare," I say without even looking up from the wooden floor. "What could you possibly want now? You've taken away everything else." With that accusation, I turn my back on the small figure in my doorway, and cross to my open doorway to the forest. I hear the click of her heels follow me as I lean my head against the arm holding onto the upper edge of the glass door. There is a sudden sound of quicker movement, and I feel Clare's arms around my torso and her cheek on my back.

I take in a deep sigh, of longing or exasperation, I cannot tell. My body soon leans back into her touch without my permission, and I quickly lose sense of what I am doing. I feel myself turn to face her, and then I do the unthinkable. I bend my body down to kiss her lips.

The tiniest trace of my old self revels in our touch, hoping to feel at home in her embrace. I cannot escape, though, the cold, empty feeling I find in her kiss. Clare is nothing compared to my angel, my warm Bella. I smile in our kiss, just for the sweet knowledge I have so recently gained. I cannot even pull away from the kiss, so elated that it means nothing.

It is right then though, that my good friend Billy decides to throw another thorn deep into my heart.

Bella walks through the doorway, and my glass heart shatters at the look on her face.

_But if my silence made you leave_

_Then that would be my worst mistake..._

* * *

I feel that I am suddenly in my dream again. That dark haired girl is kissing Edward, and I am standing helplessly at the end of our story. I have lost my Edward to what I was too afraid to fear: his human life. And I have no one to blame but myself. How could such a man continue his boring life with a simple human when he is facing the immortal he has always been longing for?

There was no hate in my heart. I couldn't hate him, only myself. Even Clare was blameless in my eyes; she was only giving into the love that time had shortly severed. Or maybe it had simply been hidden behind the tearable veil I had put between Edward's human and immortal lives. With this one, final heart-wrenching slice of a knife, our lives were torn apart.

As Edward pulls away from Clare slowly, he smiles foolishly, as if in a giddy daze. Maybe I could hate him. If I had more courage, I would yell at him. Scream until my voice slowly died away. Then I'd be able to maybe move on from this torture, even if I were only pulling another clouded veil over my head.

But no matter how much I wish to become a bride to my despair, I cannot leave this room without uttering a single word. A single question should suffice.

"Do you love me?" I barely whispered, making direct eye contact with the man I could not help but love through all the pain he has caused. Believe me, he no longer is perfect and untainted. _Maybe that is better,_ I think. _Now we could just be ourselves in this relationship, not always hiding behind the perfection we wish we'd see in each other._

As I am waiting for Edward's answer, Clare slowly steps away from Edward's form and backs up to stand next to me. She looks over into my eyes and smiles weakly. We make a vow to each other then, at that moment. Whoever he chose, he chose. We would live with his choice because it was finally his to make. He couldn't hide behind Clare's supposed death or our "need" to be together. It was finally his turn to make the decision. Fate had done its work, bringing us three together. Now it was time for Edward to break us apart.

We both follow his every move, although there aren't many. He looks at Clare with an expression that neither of us can decipher, then at me, and right then I know.

"I love you." And he says it with such certainty and confidence that I melt. My knees buckle beneath my weight and I begin my descent to the wooden floor below. Right before I reach the ground, though, I feel two cold hands reach for me, and I know I am saved. I look into his eyes and the kind of smile I have never seen form on Edward's lips. A smile of welcoming. A smile of asking. A smile of choice.

_So I would choose to be with you_

_That's if the choice were mine to make_

_But you can make decisions too_

_And you can have this heart to break_

FIN.


End file.
